The Verse I Don’t Know What To Do With Because Nothing Changed (Part 1)
There is a verse I keep coming back to.
“The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”
I built a lot on that.
A lot.
I even tattooed it on my wrist.
Eight years ago.
My job now is to be still.
To wait.
To watch you work.
So I did.
I still do.
But I’ve been still and nothing has changed.
What if I am still…and nothing ever changes?
What if I wait…
and the thing I’m waiting on doesn’t come?
I don’t understand you sometimes.
I don’t.
I don’t think you answer prayers for things that I hold tender.
That feels awful to write. But it’s true.
“You wound me by not restoring my marriage.”
I wrote that.
I meant it.
I have asked you over and over again:
Are you fighting for me?
Are you fighting for this?
Because it doesn’t look like it. My eyes see carnage and destruction. They see patterns of betrayal and abandonment. They see a lost cause.
And yet…
Faith can only be found in the unseen and the not-yet.
So I stay.
Even when I don’t understand.
Even when I don’t see anything changing.
Even when I’m not sure what you’re doing.
Maybe being still isn’t about peace or deliverance.
Maybe it’s just about not leaving.
